Comparison Trap

Success is to be measured not by wealth, power, or fame, but by the ratio between what a man is and what he might be.
— H. G. Wells

By what measuring stick do you measure yourself?
How do you measure if a business, or staff, or even if you are being successful?

Success is often measured by how the boss feels about you at any particular moment. Have you ever had a job when you felt that way? You just never know, for sure, if people are pleased. If you are getting "it done," unless someone is patting you on the back. But then, is it the right person patting you on the back? Do you have people that are telling you the truth about your performance, or just trying to keep the waters calm?

All these questions build insecurities and inevitably lead to comparing yourself to the closest availble persons in your field, in your life, in your class, in your work place, in the local paper, or across the globe. Often this leads to thoughts that you won't be successful unless you can be better than whomever you are comparing yourself to at that moment.

After all, it only makes sense, right? When you apply for a job, you are compared. When you play in sports you are compared to the other team. When you place a bid you are compared either by value, price, service, or political gain. If we are always compared it only makes sense to compare yourself to others, right?

I would say wrong. And this is why. When outside influences compare you they are making a judgement, a gamble, on who will do the best job. They are not measuring your future success, they don't know that yet. They are simply judging your past achievements and guessing on the future. Developing who you are is the process of pulling your future successes into your present. That can only be done by you. And when you are measuring success by what you know you are capable of, not by what someone else placed your value at.

The best definition of success (I believe in this principle so much I use it with all my clients) is the continuous achievement of your own predetermined goals that are stabilized by balance and purified by belief.

Let that sink in for a minute, and ask yourself. Do you have predetermined goals? Are you reaching them? Are they inline with your beliefs? Are they bringing total success to all areas of your life, or just one or two?

If you can make that your model for success, then you can, and will escape the comparison trap and begin pulling your future successes into your present.

Remember the person in the mirror knows what you are capable of, and reaching to develop that person always pays the biggest ROI.

- Jon Bohm