Monday, June 15, 2009

Connecting Emotionally

“Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of  segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch  your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at  whim.... when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of  “nobodiness” then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait.” - Martin Luther King Jr. 1963 - Letter from a Birmingham Jail

Have you ever been around someone who was really, I mean really, able to walk in your shoes?  Not just say they understand, but really feel what you feel?  That is the secret of compassion.

I once heard a friend say that being heard is so close to be loved that most people can't tell the difference.  How well do you listen to those in your life?  How well do you feel the pain of your prospects?  How good are you at feeling what others feel?

Often, when I am working with a team of sales people they want to know how to "Close" better or "sell" better.  But, the greatest sales secret in the world is to be a great listener, practice compassion, ask great questions, and walk in your prospect's shoes.  When you can feel what they feel then you are connecting emotionally with their issues.

In a sales situation it is tempting to talk a lot and show the prospect how much you know about your product.  And think you are closing the sale, you couldn't be more wrong.  Your prospect doesn't care how much you know about your product, they care how much you understand their problem, pain, or challenge.

You can't learn about someone's pain or walk in their shoes by talking.  So close your mouth and start listening, or better yet, start feeling what they feel.

A good system is to never tell anybody anything (especially about their situation) until you know these 3 things:
  • What are they thinking?
  • What are they feeling?
  • What are they experiencing? this situation.  After you have asked enough questions, clarified enough answers, and felt enough of their pain to understand their situation thoroughly-only then should you venture out on the limb and dare to explain that what you offer is a good fit for them.

The decision to buy something is not logical it is an emotional decision that has to be justified logically.  It wasn't until our country truly felt the pain of segregation that people justified changing the culture.  Thanks to great speeches that allowed a hate filled and hurt society to see, and more importantly feel, the pain it was creating.

May we all learn to get outside ourselves long enough to feel what those around us feel.  Connecting with each other emotionally is the greatest tool to there is to helping people change.

Practice the white magic of listening and see your relationships and profits grow!

Enjoy Life today!

Jon Bohm

Friday, June 5, 2009

Just Jump already! What are you waiting for?

"Leadership is doing what everyone else says they will do." 

What have you said you "will do?"  Climb a peak, sky dive, forgive, love, settle down, build a company, chase a dream, travel the world, or something else?

Let me ask you, what are you waiting for?  More money?  More time?  More courage?  

Whatever it is, it's probably just an excuse to put your real living off for another day, another year, or another lifetime.

Every year I take a group, of anyone who wants to go, Skydiving.  My trip was this past Saturday (National Cancer Survivor's Day).  We had a great group and a great jump.  It can be a life changing experience and everyone who goes loves it.  Especially once they get to the ground.

But, if I went Skydiving with everyone who told me "I would love to do that!" "I've always wanted to go!"  A thousand people would have jumped by now.  My question to them is "what are you waiting for?"

What is your I've always wanted to ____________.?
  • Take my dream vacation?
  • Start my own business?
  • Forgive that family member?
  • Write a book?
  • Get engaged?
  • Learn to play the guitar, ride a motorcycle, etc?
  • Go Skydiving?
What are you waiting for?  Whatever it is, it's very likely a poor reason to put your dreams on hold.  It doesn't matter if you are 23 or 73, you really don't know how long you have to drink up every drop of life you can.  Waiting is rarely a good idea.  Waiting is the same thing as making the decision not to do it.  Either way, you're not doing it.

As a cancer survivor I've realized life is too short to be waiting for a better time.  Your life is now.  Take that dream vacation every year.  Put a plan in place to start that business, write that book, go skydiving.  We only get one time around - one shot at this life- What are you doing with yours?

Enjoy Life now,

Jon Bohm

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Believe YOU can then SEE it happen

Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~Ralph Hodgson, The Skylark and Other Poems 

One of the greatest facts of human behavior I have seen in all the people I work with is that if you think you can.  And if you think you can' are right about that too.

Working with athletes ranging from Pro- Golf to Basketball- it is true that if you can't visualize and really believe that you can make that putt, hit the shot, or nail that drive you just won't do it.  Sometimes the greatest hurdle stopping us from achieving the life we say we want is simply our own ability to BELIEVE WE CAN.

What about you?  What is a success you want in your life?  Do you believe you can do it?

Sometimes we have habits of thoughts that stop us.  Maybe from your family, an old coach, a past experience, something we made up out of thin air that stops us from believing we CAN.

Do any of these habits of thought stop you:

  • You have to have money to make money
  • Being wealthy is not Spiritual
  • I don't deserve it
  • My family didn't raise me to care about money
  • I don't have those talents
  • Getting your Masters is a long hard road.
  • I'm not smart enough
The list goes on.  They are all lies, all roadblocks to keep you from the critical step of believing you can, should, or will do it.

Sometimes things have to be believed to be seen.  Practice BELIEVING, have a lot of FAITH in God, in you, in your abilities.  But believe it and then you will see it.

May we BELIEVE we can and experience the abundant life you have available even if you can't see it just yet.

Enjoy Life Today!

Jon Bohm