With Ears Wide Open

“To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with people and tying up their friendship for good. Too few people practice the ‘white magic’ of being good listeners.”- Oliver Wendell Holmes

I went through a drive-thru burger joint today, and as I was speaking with the cashier by means of the telecom something hit me. First of all nobody likes that crazy telecom because it is like speaking to the Mars Rover. But one thing any good cashier does well is "active listening."

"Active Listening" is simply listening to what a person says with enough purpose to repeat back to them in your own words what you heard them say. In the drive-thru, sure this is important, but in relationships it is a necessity. And very few, I mean very few, people do this well.

I once heard someone say that being listened to is so close to being loved that most people can't tell the difference. When was the last time someone really listened to you? To how you were thinking about something, what you were experiencing, or what you were feeling?

When was the last time you truly listened to someone yourself with enough intent to actually repeat back what you heard, and make sure you understood. Not to take an order at a drive-thru, but because you care. I have noticed that very few people do this very well at any function. Your ability to simply talk to others about what they are thinking, feeling, and experiencing will give you a distinct advantage among your competition.

Have you ever had a salesperson try to get you to buy something who never listened to you, never found out what you needed, and demonstrated they didn't care enough about you or your situation to listen? If you have, I can almost guarantee one thing; you didn't buy.

Whether you are a sales person, a supervisor, a minister, a counselor, a spouse, parent, friend, coach, or simply buying your gas we can all pay forward the biggest free gift available to personal interaction. The gift of listening with your ears wide open.

-Jon Bohm