Connecting Emotionally

“Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of  segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch  your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at  whim.... when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of  “nobodiness” then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait.” - Martin Luther King Jr. 1963 - Letter from a Birmingham Jail

Have you ever been around someone who was really, I mean really, able to walk in your shoes?  Not just say they understand, but really feel what you feel?  That is the secret of compassion.

I once heard a friend say that being heard is so close to be loved that most people can't tell the difference.  How well do you listen to those in your life?  How well do you feel the pain of your prospects?  How good are you at feeling what others feel?

Often, when I am working with a team of sales people they want to know how to "Close" better or "sell" better.  But, the greatest sales secret in the world is to be a great listener, practice compassion, ask great questions, and walk in your prospect's shoes.  When you can feel what they feel then you are connecting emotionally with their issues.

In a sales situation it is tempting to talk a lot and show the prospect how much you know about your product.  And think you are closing the sale, you couldn't be more wrong.  Your prospect doesn't care how much you know about your product, they care how much you understand their problem, pain, or challenge.

You can't learn about someone's pain or walk in their shoes by talking.  So close your mouth and start listening, or better yet, start feeling what they feel.

A good system is to never tell anybody anything (especially about their situation) until you know these 3 things:

• What are they thinking?
• What are they feeling?
• What are they experiencing?

...in this situation.  After you have asked enough questions, clarified enough answers, and felt enough of their pain to understand their situation thoroughly-only then should you venture out on the limb and dare to explain that what you offer is a good fit for them.

The decision to buy something is not logical it is an emotional decision that has to be justified logically.  It wasn't until our country truly felt the pain of segregation that people justified changing the culture.  Thanks to great speeches that allowed a hate filled and hurt society to see, and more importantly feel, the pain it was creating.

May we all learn to get outside ourselves long enough to feel what those around us feel.  Connecting with each other emotionally is the greatest tool to there is to helping people change.

Practice the white magic of listening and see your relationships and profits grow!

Enjoy Life today!

Jon Bohm

Just Jump already! What are you waiting for?

"Leadership is doing what everyone else says they will do." 

What have you said you "will do?"  Climb a peak, sky dive, forgive, love, settle down, build a company, chase a dream, travel the world, or something else?

Let me ask you, what are you waiting for?  More money?  More time?  More courage?  

Whatever it is, it's probably just an excuse to put your real living off for another day, another year, or another lifetime.

Every year I take a group, of anyone who wants to go, Skydiving.  My trip was this past Saturday (National Cancer Survivor's Day).  We had a great group and a great jump.  It can be a life changing experience and everyone who goes loves it.  Especially once they get to the ground.

But, if I went Skydiving with everyone who told me "I would love to do that!" "I've always wanted to go!"  A thousand people would have jumped by now.  My question to them is "what are you waiting for?"

What is your I've always wanted to ____________.?

• Take my dream vacation?
• Start my own business?
• Forgive that family member?
• Write a book?
• Get engaged?
• Learn to play the guitar, ride a motorcycle, etc?
• Go Skydiving?

What are you waiting for?  Whatever it is, it's very likely a poor reason to put your dreams on hold.  It doesn't matter if you are 23 or 73, you really don't know how long you have to drink up every drop of life you can.  Waiting is rarely a good idea.  Waiting is the same thing as making the decision not to do it.  Either way, you're not doing it.

As a cancer survivor I've realized life is too short to be waiting for a better time.  Your life...my life is now.  Take that dream vacation every year.  Put a plan in place to start that business, write that book, go skydiving.  We only get one time around - one shot at this life- What are you doing with yours?

Enjoy Life now,

Jon Bohm

Believe YOU can then SEE it happen

Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~Ralph Hodgson, The Skylark and Other Poems 

One of the greatest facts of human behavior I have seen in all the people I work with is that if you think you can...you can.  And if you think you can't...you are right about that too.

Working with athletes ranging from Pro- Golf to Basketball- it is true that if you can't visualize and really believe that you can make that putt, hit the shot, or nail that drive you just won't do it.  Sometimes the greatest hurdle stopping us from achieving the life we say we want is simply our own ability to BELIEVE WE CAN.

What about you?  What is a success you want in your life?  Do you believe you can do it?

Sometimes we have habits of thoughts that stop us.  Maybe from your family, an old coach, a past experience, something we made up out of thin air that stops us from believing we CAN.

Do any of these habits of thought stop you:

• You have to have money to make money
• Being wealthy is not Spiritual
• I don't deserve it
• My family didn't raise me to care about money
• I don't have those talents
• Getting your Masters is a long hard road.
• I'm not smart enough

The list goes on.  They are all lies, all roadblocks to keep you from the critical step of believing you can, should, or will do it.

Sometimes things have to be believed to be seen.  Practice BELIEVING, have a lot of FAITH in God, in you, in your abilities.  But believe it and then you will see it.

May we BELIEVE we can and experience the abundant life you have available even if you can't see it just yet.

Enjoy Life Today!

Jon Bohm

Helping others "Get it"

"One of the marks of true greatness is the ability to develop greatness in others." - JC McCauley

Are you developing "Greatness" in those around you?

We have a tendency to roll our eyes when someone doesn't "get it," don't we?

Especially when it's at work.  After all, they are there because they have a job to do that requires a certain level of competency and commitment.

It's easy as a leader, whether as a supervisor, manager, or executive leader to have a tendency to "write off" your subordinates who don't seem to really get it as well as you do.  And you're right, they don't usually get it as well as you do, and many of them probably aren't working very hard at "getting it."

But, let me challenge you to look at your roll as leader a little different.  When did you get it?  You weren't born naked into this world "getting" it.  And you probably didn't "get it" on your own.  Someone showed you, circumstances brought it to your attention, a piece of inspiration, or friend lead up to the point when you finally got it.   Maybe, you worked really hard to get it.  None the less, you got it at some point.

I want to challenge you as a leader to view your position as a platform to help others "get it."  Can you bring the right circumstances?  The right attention?  The right inspiration?  the right culture of hard work?  So those around finally get it?   After all, if they get it, we can stop rolling our eyes and probably make a lot more money, have more fun, and find some new colleagues that operate at the level you wish they would.

A parent that helps their kids "get" the value of an education, the manager that helps their employees "get" the value of a smile or customer relationships, the CEO who helps his board "get" what this business is really all about, the Pastor that helps his congregation really "Get" what it means to be spiritual, these are truly great leaders.

Because greatness is not measured in the small boundaries of your inner world, but in your ability to develop greatness in those around you.

Make the next stage of your life one of "Greatness" that makes our life, business, and world a better place.

-Jon Bohm

"Make the next stage of your life a magnificent obsession, rather than a meaningless Odyssey."

Defeated is Temporary, don't make it Permanent

“Being defeated is often only a temporary condition.  Giving up is what makes it permanent.” – MARILYN VOS SAVANT – Recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records Hall of Fame for the highest recorded IQ.

Do you ever wake up and just feel “defeated?”

 We all have days that are “bad” days; we lose a deal, an employee or friend doesn’t make a crucial phone call, the bid goes to someone else, the news station says we will “never” recover,  your phone is on the fritz, you feel sick, find out bad news, or get chewed out by the boss. Etc. etc.

 This is the crucial moment where we have to make the decision to accept things the way they are at this moment and be “defeated.”  Or we take the other option which is to accept the responsibility to change our circumstances.

 In High School people would always tell me that I would never play in the NBA.  I accepted that as truth and just let that dream die.  As it turned out, 4 of the 5 of my High School starting team went on to play Division 1 college hoops and some went to the NBA.

I learned a valuable lesson, “don’t ever let someone, anyone, tell you what you can’t do.”  Sure the odds can be stacked against you, sure it may not seem possible, and it doesn’t matter.  You decide what you will accept as truth, you decide what you can and can’t do, you decide to accept responsibility for your life and circumstances and let everyone else “accept the way things are.”

You see, life is not made up out of whether bad things will happen or if bad days will come, because they will.  Life is made out of those situations when someone decides to either be temporarily defeated or permanently destroyed.  We kill our own dreams, nobody else can do that for us.  

As for me, I will guard and protect my dreams and own the responsibility for making them happen.  How about you?

-Jon Bohm

Be, Know, and Do your way to Future Success

"What we KNOW, and what we DO, can not be separated from WHO we are."- Jon Bohm

So, do you have your dream list?

Are you clear about what you want in your future?  If not, read the last few posts and build a list of the places, things, people, life you want to experience.

Once you have climbed the hill of building your dream list, then you have a clearer picture of where you want to go.  But dreams, much like sand, have a tendency to slip through our fingers if we don't hold onto them tightly.  

A friend of mine spent years living what he thought was his dream to be a great Trial Lawyer, and indeed he was excellent.  He had great knowledge, and he did everything need to be excellent in his lawyer role.  But, it stressed him out everyday, he didn't like who he was becoming each day.  Instead of becoming more loving, understanding, and emotionally connected to those around him he became colder more distant and focused on the task at hand instead of the people at hand.   It wasn't WHO he wanted to be.   I may even argue it wasn't WHO He really was in the first place, but rather a dream, that somewhere along the line he allowed to separate himself from who he wanted to BECOME.  Not just what he wanted to KNOW and DO.

I am convinced that KNOWING WHO we are is one of the biggest factors to achieving real success towards our dreams.  What about you?  Do you know WHO you are?

Here is a simple exercise to help you find out:  take a dream, don't pick a hazy dream, pick a crystal clear dream you can feel, touch, and almost taste it's so clear.

Ok, got it?

Now ask yourself in order to achieve that Dream:

• Who do I have to BECOME?  
• What do I have to KNOW?
• What do I have to DO?

Do you like what you see?  Do you like who you have to BECOME?  Achieving a dream can never just be about what we know or what we do, it has to be about becoming the person we really want to be.

What about you?  Are you currently living out a path to a dream?  Are you becoming the type of person you want to BE?  If the answer is no, then I highly encourage you to take another look and begin chasing another dream.  Don't lose yourself in chasing dreams.  Use dreams to find who you really are.

And if you need help, I can help you put all the pieces together and find your purpose, chase your dreams, and become who you REALLY want to be- maybe find WHO YOU REALLY are.

-Jon Bohm

Be a Dreamer

We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day, or in the red fire on a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nourish them through bad days until they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.
— Woodrow Wilson

Have you ever felt like there was more to this life?  Like you have something big coming but you you can't really describe it?  Do you have a Big Dream?  Could you describe it?  Or, maybe it's deep in your subconscious and you feel it, you know it's there.

After working with many people in a behind the scenes kind of way, I don't think I have yet to meet a person who doesn't have a dream, a big dream.  Maybe you can't describe it, maybe your not even aware enough to know what it's about, but it's there.  Somewhere, but there.

What about you?  What is your dream?  What do you want to see, feel, travel too, touch, have, or experience.  Everyone's dream is different.

One of the most worthwhile things I have done is made a list of at least 100 dreams.  I don't need them anchored in reality, just dream and keep adding to it.  In that list of dreams I begin to see patterns of things that I value.  Family, sunshine, health, the basics.  And then out of nowhere I have tapped into a part of myself that I don't get to see everyday (and some never see.).  The part of me that finds inspiration, a passion for life, a drive to be significant to myself, my family, and the world.

Often we play too small, don't we?  We are conditioned by our present circumstances, the news, things we have heard growing up, to stay inside the safe comfortable place that doesn't dream about becoming President, writing a book, being a world changer.  Our big dream is stifled by "reality."  And somewhere most people let there big dream die.

What about you?  Did your big dreams die?  Could you revive them today?  There is something truly powerful about dreaming about the future, escaping present circumstances, with what could be.  And then driving our life towards those dreams.

I am adding to my dream list today and encourage you to do the same.

• Make a list of at least 100 dreams or give it 30 minutes and add 25 to it every week until you reach 100.
• Then go back and see what really tugs at your soul, your passions, what drives you?
• If you had to narrow it down to your top 5 most important to you, what would they be?

Write those dreams down, could they combine to one?  Does it pull at that passion you have?

Can you turn it into a goal?  Can you put a time table on it?  

Now, the big question, will you be brave enough to in the words of Woodrow Wilson to 

"..nourish and protect it through the good days and bad until you bring them to the sunshine and light which comes ALWAYS to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true."

Consider yourself warned, circumstances and people WILL mess with your head, but they can't mess with your heart and your passions.  Nourish that dream, we were not meant to stay comfortable and safe, we were meant to live,  to dream, to make a difference.

The difference between success and failure in most lives is simply the difference between quitting and not giving up.   Don't give up on dreaming, dream BIG today.  And be significant.

- Jon Bohm